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| o haha. my last entry was like almost a year ago. well yeah. sept. almost a year ago.
im surporised i still remember the password for this.lol hahhaahah
but yeah. today ish ma bday! im 18. wow. ;lol; | | |
| my myspace doesnt work...ARRGH!!! its like my only life on the computer..i dont care if I go to any other sites.......omg...i
miss myspace...so much! and yeah. im seriously crying. and my mom said we cant use it at
her friend's house..urgh! this so sucks!! oh well. we freakin seriously
need a new computer..urgh! wow..its almost 1:00 am..
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| well, my myspace doesnt work at home and it sucks soo much! so im going here.
svo is like this week. so yeah. im kinda excited. then we had crystals
baby shower yesterday. and on friday..me and emory met caramel
thunder..lol. and at the end oif yesterday..we got caked at the end. it
was terrible lol. pretty fun though.
well. darcy and i are going shopping tomorrow hehe. were going to ross!
hehe. were so cool! then yeah. im boired. brat camp is on...bye!!
Juju
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| this is so sad..im really depressed. i know like no one really checks this anymore but anywho...yeah.
well, ive always wanted to get a car. and i know im going to get a
car..my dad's '88 nissan path finder. its real old. it make sounds when
i play with the switches even though the ignition is off. then yeah.
the reason that i want to get a car is because i want to get one just
cuz everybody has one. the other REAL reason is that i cant always ask
my friends for a ride everytime i need one. urgh! majority of my peers
do have cars. well there are rules. once you get your liscence you can
drive on your own. but you need insurance. i dont have one. urgh!
my mom thought it was going to be like a lot of money than she thought
it was going to take that she needs to pay every 6 months. but it wasnt
going to take that much. it was going to take a lot less. so she didnt
really pay a lot of attention to it since "there are more important
things to worry about" rather than that.e.g. having food on the table,
paying the house..etc. i was thinking of paying for it but i dont think
i can afford that since i dont get payed that much at work. then how
can i get to work? urgh?
anyways..i am sick and tired of asking people for rides every time. i
owe people probably $100 each b/c of gas. it is very shameful to ask
everyone. i feel so bad and i also feel like i dont just owe them money
but i also owe them my dignity for some reason. i also dont like it cuz
my coach picks me up in the morning for practice and bring me back
home. i am very lucky i have a coach like her. she is very kind. but
when i dont do well in practice or when i have my moments, she
threatens to not give me rides anymore. also, when she has to leave
eraly i cant get a ride from anyone else anymore because shess my only
ride.
also, when i miss my ride with her, i have to ask other parents from
the rink to give me a ride to the rink. what do i say when they
ask..."are your parents out of town?" ...i just simply say..."they're
still i bed." i just cant imagine what they think after i reply. it
could possibly be "omgsh...i know its hard to get up in the morning
that early but i still get up for my son's/daughter's practice.." i
cant imagine what else they think. also when i go meet up wit my
friends, i always have to get a ride from my friends or friends's
parents..it is very shameful. they ask the exact same question..."are
your parents out of town or somehting? " sometimes i just want to say
"yes they are out of town" just to shut them up.
then earlier this evening, my parents were out to go to los angeles. i
dont have any ride to the rink for practice...that means i cant skate
since i cant ask for any one's favor anyways..so i have to stay
home...miss one day of valuable training time. my dad....omgsh. im
sorry to say this but he does not support my skating fully. he only
helps pay for it. i dont really ask him to since he's my stepdad, i
understand(even though he should participate fully into all of me and
my sister's activities cuz thats why he married my mom for...he was
supposed to expect thes kind of things) then yeah.
then my mom found out that it was going to take A LOT less for the cost
for insurance..so she said shes going to sign me up on monday..and the
process will take a pretty long time. so im pretty mad since im going
to be working the camp at the rink for the next two weeks. which means
im going to be stuck at the rink from practice, work, and work ends at
around 3:30 pm. my mom is going to be at the rink from work around 6:00
pm. that is a long time to do nothing. my friends all have to go
somewhere and i cant keep asking people. and i cant pay people since i
am so broke. i cant even save up to buy a car since i pay for my ice
times, pay for membership fees, and competitions. my parents are pretty
strict. they wont let us do anything with our money. i also know that
its because they wants us to save our money but once in a while. omgsh.
seriously.
then i cant even ask my parents to give me a ride home if i need one in
the middle of the day. my mom cant take off work since she cant cuz of
her schedule and my dad works in milpitas. so...what else is there??
then earlier this evening, my mom said shes going to sign me up for
insurance on monday...which kind of ticked me off since i cant skate on
saturday. then it'll take a long time for the processing. then so..my
mom said she didnt even have a car when she was my age. but dude..in
the philippines, there were tricycles. they can transport you
everywhere..and THIS IS A NEW TIME PERIOD. i understand that when my
kids are my age now...i will let them do what their time period teens
do...WE LIVE IN A NEW TIME PERIOD...so yeah.
so the thing is..i cant get a car...my coach's husband can have "my
car" fixed for a nice price..but my parents are not going to do it
since there are "more important stuff to deal with"...so i can only use
THEIR CAR on the weekends in the first place. ...dude..thats the time i
least need it. urgh. i need it for transportation to and from the rink
like on WEEKDAYS...i want it cuz i dotnt like asking people all the
time.
and i dont htink i can get "my car" cuz they dont really want to fix it
in my opinion and the insurance thing will go up since there are three
people having three cars. omg. seriously. i am going through terrible
emotions right now.
WELL...WISH ME LUCK...during those two weeks when i have to wait about centuries until my parents come.
ps...one thing i really want to say is this..and i am sorry to say this
but this is what i feel...i dont really like my step-dad most of the
time. he does not make me feel happy. i am not comfortable with him. i
know i owe him for all the food he has shoved in my mouth but dude..he
knew he has to shove food down my sister's and my throat cuz he knew my
mother was a single mother and had two fatherless children. so it was
part of the marriage deal. it wasnt my fault he has me now with all the
skating expenses and everything..this is why i help pay for my skating
now...dude..im sorry but hes just a nerd..omg.
i think i feel better now. i just wanted to blog this really long
blog since i felt really terrible. and i had to let it out. i
controlled my language there..lol.
bye..wish me luck!
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| omg..hevent blogged in a looong time!! wow..i wonder if anyone actualy checks this./.
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